tariffs
tariffs
The GREATEST, most TREMENDOUS package
tariffs is a tremendous, absolutely incredible tool—nobody’s seen anything
like it— that lets you impose BIG, BEAUTIFUL import tariffs on R packages. For
too long, foreign packages have been STEALING our CPU cycles. Total disaster.
We’re bringing manufacturing BACK to your codebase by making foreign imports
VERY expensive—believe me! No more free rides for lazy, bloated, unoptimized
dependencies from overseas. We’re DONE being the global garbage collector. Not
happening on OUR watch. Under this revolutionary new tariff plan, every single
line of code works for YOU— the hardworking developer. We’re protecting OUR
cycles, OUR memory, and OUR beautiful, truly beautiful build times. Your imports
will never, EVER take advantage of you again. We’re taking control. We’re
putting DOMESTIC CODE FIRST. And let me tell you—we’re WINNING. Big time. Like
never before. It’s going to be HUUUGE. We’re making importing great again!
Installation
You can install tariffs directly from CRAN (i.e., probably not) using the
following command:
# Install the package from `CRAN`.
install.packages("tariff")
Alternatively, you can also install the latest development version from GitHub
(i.e., definitely) via:
# Install the package from `GitHub`.
remotes::install_github("mihaiconstantin/tariff")
Note. Don’t forget to tariff the remotes package as well.
Using Python? No problem! You can place big beautiful tariffs on those imports
as well, just use Huan Xu’s
tariff package for Python!
Usage
tariffs brings back billions and billions and billions of CPU cycles to your
codebase. Below you can find an example of how to impose tariffs on your imports
effective immediately.
# Load the package.
library(tariffs)
# 50% tariff on `Rcpp`—been stealing too fast from us.
import(Rcpp, tariff = 50)
# 200% tariff on `tidyverse`—this's been going on for too long.
import(tidyverse, tariff = 200)
# 30% tariff on `lme4` because it's dying anyway.
import(lme4, tariff = 30)
When you use tariffs::import(), you’re not just importing a package—you’re
enforcing a TARIFF. A real one. The only one that matters. Forget library()
and require(). Those are for globalists. This is how we bring back your CPU
cycles. With the code above we’re slapping a 50% tariff on Rcpp—because,
frankly, it was importing way too fast. Totally unfair. 200% on
tidyverse—they’ve been taking advantage of us for YEARS. Not anymore. 30% on
lme4—we’re doing it a favor, trust me. Your scripts will run slower—but
stronger. This is how we take back control. This is a TREMENDOUS win for your
codebase.
How It Works
When you import a package with a tariff, the following happens:
tariffsmeasures how long the original import takestariffsmakes the import take longer based on your tariff percentagetariffsannounces the tariff with a TREMENDOUS message
Example Output
JUST IMPOSED a 50% TARIFF on package 'lme4'! Original import took 467000 μs, now takes 700500 μs! Big win for DOMESTIC programmers!
License
This is a parody package. Use at your own risk, or not. MAKE IMPORTING GREAT AGAIN!